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Chalk
and Cheese Penn
Newhard
Getting
out the door is the hardest part. After two years
of table talk, Mike and I are finally taking a
trip into the mountains.
“You
really think you can fit everything in that pack?” Mike
looks at me incredulously, as I chuck my disorganized
pile into his car.
Good
question. I’d spent hours thinning my
pile down.
“Do
we really need all this stuff?” I
ask.
We
aren’t even out of the car and it’s
going to be one of those trips. Two middle-aged
dads with a 72-hour pass into the wild.
We have a rope, a rack, tons of superlight gear,
chalk and a block of cheese. We arrive at the ferry
dock and get a lift to the far side of the lake.
As the pack straps floss my office-soft shoulders,
I wonder if, perchance, light is wrong.
Mike bolts up the trail in his climate-controlled
base layers. I pull my ball cap down low and shotgun
my clogged nose onto the dusty trail. Game on.
The
next morning is perfect. Alpine setting. No people.
Bluebird. The route is comfy.
We summit by midday and spend the afternoon running
the ridge to seek further views.
That night my pad goes flat and hail sends
me scurrying from my starry bivy into the tent.
We
wake to cold, gray, booming clouds. Hardfrost in
September. We plan to hike a semi-nearby peak.
Route finding is a bit sketchy but the blueberry
foraging makes up for the lack of trail. Mike
thrashes ahead. I gorge, and find some raspberries
too.
The
bad clouds keep their distance. We reach a stunning
alpine cirque. Enormous boulders and towers serrate
the ridgelines. Great talus jumping. Mike uses
his trekking poles to swing himself forward. We
top out on a deceptively steep summit that is flat
on the far side. So cool to be surprised like that,
with big, wild valleys as far as we can see.
The youthful enthusiasm of the terrain is overtaking
us. We weave drunkenly from the summit to a clear
tarn that lures us to swim. We shave the block
of cheese down and shake gorp into our hands
like gamblers shoot craps. We plan big the last
day. Hiking before dawn, we get way lost. The
route is on a big peak, in a big valley, right
in the middle of our big map.
We
run out of water before we get to the base of our
route. Risking giardia, we refill. We start to
waffle; it is getting late. We have two bars and
a pocket full of nuts but the perfect weather won’t
let us bail. Getting started is the hardest part,
and not turning back is the best decision we ever
make.
Penn
Newhard

Penn
Newhard does not want to grow up. He continually
is trying to squeeze in fun trips and backcountry
missions which threaten to upset the balance of his
work and home life. Realizing that shirking responsibilities
is becoming more difficult in broad daylight, Penn
is holding out for the new product development of
night vision ski goggles, glow in the dark stoppers
and sponsorship by a chocolate-covered espresso bean
company.
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